Coach's Locker Room
$1.99. ONE TIME.
Less than a Wendy's Frosty. More drama than a Frosty has ever caused.
FREE TIER
Bench Player
$0 / forever
- ✓5 drops per day
- ✓3-trophy shelf
- ✓Full coach commentary (TTS)
- ✓Shareable physics-replay links
- ✓Daily seed leaderboard
★ COACH'S PICK
PRO TIER
All-Star Champ
$1.99 one-time, lifetime access
- ★Unlimited daily drops
- ★Gold-tier trophies (refraction + bloom)
- ★Custom peg-word injection (PICKLEBALL etc)
- ★3D rotating trophy shelf room
- ★Coach's Pick watermark on shares
- ★Engraved with your name
FAQ
Is this real money?
Yes. $1.99. Stripe. Coach takes Visa, MC, Amex, and unsolicited HOA complaints.
What does 'one-time' mean?
You pay once, you're Pro forever for this app. No subscription. Coach hates subscriptions.
Can I get a refund?
Coach's policy: if you didn't laugh, email us a tea so good it makes Coach laugh. We'll refund.
Will my street name be leaked?
Only to your friends, lovingly, on a 3D trophy. We don't share data.
⚡ COACH GUARANTEES
"If you don't mount at LEAST one Cul-de-Sac Felony in the first week, I'll personally drive over and yell at your bushes. — Coach Brent"